I can not find the words tonight, and have not for a long time, hence the no posting.
I am already feeling a "sigh of relief" just starting this post, though. The venting "out loud" is a great therapy!:-)
Long story short.....back in June i suspected Jake was having seizures again. My suspucions started on the top of a water slide @ our gym. Jake and i were taunting each other about the race we were about to have. suddenly, but slowly he was gone. His eyes rolled back, and he was gone. it was only for a matter of seconds, but i knew "that look."
I immediately raced Jake down that slide and called Brandy in tears. We both kinda blew it off, but deep down I think we both knew a mommas heart never lies. She and I both knew...
I kind of watched , or stared , or obsessed over him the beginning of the summer. my gut told me something wasn't right. His behavior started getting very erratic, his adhd was out of control, his emotions (which he has never shown), were heartbreaking.
Finally one morning, as he and I drank coffee and watched scooby doo , the only ones awake, on a beautiful summer dawn, i saw it. Not only did i see it, he definitely felt it. he told me he was hot, his head hurt and he felt "irritated." the next thing i knew our boy was gone....the look on his face was the look i had seen too many times before. i could see in his eyes him asking for my help. he was pleading to me to unleash the beast.
I sat, I could not do anything. I was lost.
how the hell is this happening again?
I called the dr.
He didn't believe me. We got an egg in early June it showed nothing, except crazy mother syndrome.
long story short...it kept happening, I finally caught a good one on video, we went for 2 more eegs, and low and behold Jake is having seizures.
so we are back at adding meds, adjusting meds and having a 7 year old sleep with us.
My day with the Pioneer Woman
11 hours ago