tough times

Yesterday was a pretty tough day.  I didn't expect it to be such,but geez it sure turned into one.  A couple of my awesome coworkers had asked me to talk to their club, as they are the sponsors.  Since Jake was inflicted with this dreadful disease, these ladies have been there supporting ALL 4 Jake every step of the way.  This year , their club decided they would make purple key chains to sell and all the proceeds would go to the Epilepsy foundation.  these kids and working moms, newly weds, and young teachers have stayed after school, spent time on weekends, and even used their own money for our cause.

So yesterday I went , as they made purple key chains, to introduce Jake and tell them a little about Epilepsy.

No big deal.

Now, those 30 minutes, are haunting me.

I LOVED being there for the kids.  I think they saw me as some strong person and Jake as a normal kid.  The questions they asked were absolutely amazing. 

But, I felt like a little insecure squirrel.

 I have not been in that place in a LONG time!  I have remembered and reminisced, but not like this.  watching Emmet's video with my peers and the students and telling them about Jake, I again caught a glimpse of what he has had to conquer.



Unfortunately, now I am more afraid than ever.   Afraid the beast will show his ugly face again. 

I can't stand that guy and what he did to us.  I hate those memories.

I hate that when Addison hears a siren she goes into fetal position and bawls hers eyes out, no matter where she may be.

I hate what he has done to our family.

I hate that we have a story to tell.

I hate this beast!

But I do love that I have over 100 Doose mommy and daddys telling, sharing and fighting for our story right now in DC!

The Doose Team has taken over DC this weekend for National Purple Day in hopes of turing that White House Purple!

All of this did happen for a reason, no matter how hard it is/may have been.



"Fall seven times, stand up eight"
Japanese proverb

Addi's story

It's been a while.

I feel like since Jake is doing better I don't have a reason to write.  Like people don't want to hear just the same ole' stories about what's going on in our life.  I struggle with things to put our there to the "public."  Like the negative, the worry, the pain, is a much better read than what I may have to share these days.  Don't get me wrong, we still struggle...in many ways, but gosh, looking back, I can't believe where we have been.  I know I say that often too, but today was just hard.....more on that tomorrow.

Because I struggle with his so much, and tonight I read a story of Epilepsy that struck waaayyy too close to home, and I am still trying to process all of it, my precious, sweet, 7 year old, and Jake's big sister will tell her story tonight:

Exodus 23:25



"So you shall serve the Lord your God, and He will bless your bread and your water. And I will take sickness away from the midst of you."