As I have told a couple people lately, it is just so damn hard sometimes. Not even difficult mentally, it's probably taking more of a toll on me than I realize, but physically demanding.
Here lately, he wants to be held all the time. He wants to be held usually, because I believe, he feels the aura. Whenever I scoop him into my arms, his breathing will get heavy and he trembles, or he "drops". I can't tell you how many times he "dropped" into his plate of food this evening.
I swear all I did this Spring Break was carry him, around the house, to the car, around the grocery store, and at the park.
However, being away from him this entire, first day back to school, my arms so longed for his embrace and for his heaviness.
Just now even, he asked for me to pick him up, I lift him and continue typing:-), he sat for a minute or so, trembled, breathed heavily, and the "it" lifted and he was on his way.
You think I would have some killer arms for as much as I carry him! UNfortunately I just have tree stumps!:-)
I really would like to just try and remove all these drugs and see what would happen. Geez, it's not as if they are making things better.
We will find something that works though, even if we have to go "Lorenzo's Oil" on everyone's butt!
"I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward."
Charlotte Bronte
God Bless~ Christine
1 comment:
Oh Christine- that blog makes me sad and mad. I like the quote, just look up lady! I think I would want to scream at the top of my lungs from anger if I were you- having him have those drops in your arms- ugh!!!! You should do it, scream. Remember in Destin your "urge" to scream? I can't repeat it, but surely you remember.... :) Keep looking up, it will HAVE to get better soon.
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